The Loneliness of Emotion

Sitting here alone, staring out at the world.

It’s quiet here, in this lonely spot on campus. People rush back and forth, places to be, people to talk to.

For now, I can rest. Soon, I will have to conform to their hurried ways.

Some days, when it’s quiet, I feel like I’m high above the world, viewing it from a top a mountain.

I’m closer to the clouds than anyone else on Earth.

I can feel the wind rushing through me. The clouds tumble and chase each other overhead.

Thoughts, ideas, emotions reach me up here, up here in the clouds before they reach everyone else down below.

Can’t people see how great it is up here? Can’t they see the beauty in the world? Don’t they notice the wonder in the world?

It’s all too powerful. Too exciting. Too brilliant to describe.

If I smile though, people will think I’m crazy. Maybe I am.

Of course, I’m the only one up here, alone, seeing the world from a magnificent view.

Eventually, I unfortunately come crashing down from my emotional high.

I’m back in reality, stuck at sea level.

Life is dull, life is boring. How can people manage to stay here? There’s nothing interesting to see here at sea level.

People to confront, things to get done, places to go, shifts to work, it’s all too mundane.

Too grey, too dull, too boring. Everyone is stuck. They’re not happy or sad. They feel… nothing.

It’s easier going downhill than up, so I find myself diving deep down, swimming to the bottom of the ocean.

It’s cold here. Dark. What creatures are swimming near me?

The world is dark, scary, and evil down here.

Can’t people see the harm they are causing?

Can’t they see the hurt they are creating? The chaos, the problems, the wounded?

What is wrong with them?

The world is hurting, because of them.

It’s all chaos down here.

The pain is overwhelming as it washes over me. I tumble and spin in the dark abyss down here.

Disoriented, lost, confused.

Eventually, the currents of the ocean chase me and push me up from my emotional low. What a relief.

I’m back here at sea level, and life is dull again.

I’m too tired and dry to push myself up high to the mountains or to swim down deep below.

Maybe when I’m rested, I’ll go back up to my emotional high and touch the clouds.

If only people saw the things I did.

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