Realization

It’s quiet. I’m alone, by myself, thinking in solitude while hiking in a forest.

Or, maybe I’m in a coffee shop, listening to music in a quiet corner.

Or, maybe I’m driving late at night, watching speeding headlights pass in the corner of my eye as I trying watch the road in front of me.

The wind whistles in the trees.

The music swells.

The hum of the pavement under the tires rings in my ears.

My emotions pulse inside.

The Earth becomes small below me. An anthill of minuscule creatures dancing around, stressed out, not seeing how insignificant their tasks are.

And yet, the universe couldn’t be any larger, as I still feel small and insignificant looking up.

Nothing matters, yet everything does.

Everything we do, everything we say, desire, want, and seek to act on… our little routines of life, the mazes we run to in order to avoid stepping out of our comfort zones… how much of it matters in the end?

All the feeble arguments. All of the ridiculous battles to rush on the highway from one place to another. All of the pointless debates and anger related to politics and the news. Does it add up to anything in the long consciousness of life?

I can’t help but feel depressed. I wish people could realize for a brief moment, like I have, how mundane and pointless certain details of life are.

It’s easy to feel alone. Like no one else cares or understand. Like I’m the only one up here, sitting in the clouds, looking down at the world.

I don’t respect stupidity. Trivial matters. Sometimes small talk.

Some things just seem ridiculous. Isn’t obvious to everyone else how everyone feels? How everyone is thinking? Can’t anyone see what others do and think?

No one seems to care how impacting and harmful their actions are. Everyone is worried about their own well-being and caring for themselves.

It’s all pointless. We get mad when people take a long time in line. We get angry when people are slow on the highway. We get upset when the world doesn’t fit our needs or compensates for our errands we have to complete

Why? Why can’t people treat others the same way? Can’t people see what they’re doing?

There is so much for life to offer. There so many issues out there to be fixed… if only people weren’t so short-sighted, using their gifts for themselves.

No empathy. All apathy.

Soon, the emotions die down. I come crashing back to Earth. Now, everything is far too real. Must make it to this appointment. Must do my tasks at work. Must sign up for upcoming college plans.

Sure, it was good emotional, existential ride, but no time for that now. Have to drive there. Have to eat this. Have to workout then. Have to write this. Have to work later.

If I don’t, my plans could drastically go off the rails and go in a direction I’ve been avoiding my entire life.

Or maybe not.

No point in risking it, though.

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