Perfection

It’s hard for me to see the world the way it truly is. I’ve mentioned in past posts how I live in two worlds, fantasy and reality.

Often, my body occupies reality while my mind is usually in fantasy.

Sure, I appreciate wonders reality has to offer, like the beauty in nature or the wonder in well-designed urban structures.

Once reality grows mundane, however, my mind is transported elsewhere, to the perfection inhibitions my imagination has to offer. If not that, then I will retreat to a book or movie, anything to grant me temporary leave from the boring world around me.

One staple of the INFP is the INFP’s idealism.

Again, I’ve mentioned before that I have a tendency to bind worlds together, the two realms I inhabit: fantasy and reality, into one world in which the good and tangible structure of reality is meshed with the infinite potential of my fantasies.

Because of this, I view the real world through rose-colored glasses; how can a good and perfect world ever be corrupted?

Of course, I’ve lost such naivety long ago, but the news always disappoints a dreamer like me who only wishes for a good and beautiful world.

I bring this all up again because I’ve noticed this idealism showing up in many other sectors of my life.

My favorite movies and shows are perfect to me. Even if there are flaws, I will merely think on the good of the story and ignore the bad, replacing it with fantasies of optimism and perfection.

I often see people I love the same way. I will focus on the good memories I had with them and ignore the bad, even though I still know about the bad ones while pushing them to the back of my mind.

These are my friends. My Samwise Gamgee’s, my Hermione Granger’s, my Dr. John Watson’s, characters in my story who have mass potential and pure, innate traits they will never go against. They would never go against me or disappoint, right?

Of course, this thinking isn’t very healthy.

I’m naive to the true nature of the world.

I’m obsessive in my love for movies and shows.

I’m all too trusting of people I’ve just met.

Is there anything I can do about it? I don’t know. Maybe it’s what makes me, well, me. The world isn’t that bleak with this perception. I do enjoy watching movies. People like idealistic, trusting friends.

I’ve tried to “psychoanalyze” my thoughts, trying to get to the bottom of why I view the world this way. Sure, I have my fantasies, and then I have my perception of reality. Those should be separate, really.

When I don’t know the true nature of something or someone, or if I would rather just ignore the bad in an effort to make reality as perfect as my imaginations, I wonder if I think and fill that gap with… I don’t know, good feelings? Raw, pure nature? Perfect potential?

I know that INFPs are always looking for the big picture. We don’t focus on minor details. Anything abstract or anything that is true in nature is easy to understand.

Take for example the word “loyalty”. Forget its meaning for a moment, think about how it has a meaning. Picture the word in your mind. Think about its meaning. It’s abstract, unless you associate the trait, loyalty, to a friend you know. If English is your native language, the word loyalty, how it looks, how it sounds when you say it in your head, will generate that feeling and idea of “loyalty”. It’s pure. Abstract. Raw. And I wonder if when INFPs view things in an idealistic manner, the same thing happens.

If I think about a good friend of mine, say their name in my head, it will generate a series of emotions and meanings I’ve compiled during every experience I’ve had with the person. It will come to a point in which I could look up the word “loyalty” in the dictionary and know its meaning by heart and also look up my friend’s name, their name being as simple as a series of letters symbolizing a single feeling and meaning.

If that doesn’t make any sense, basically, I see things around me, people, events, etc, as abstract concepts like I would in thinking about ideas of loneliness, friendship, loyalty, or feelings like nostalgia or anticipation.

I wonder if I look at things in relation to the big picture of it all. I consider events in the world, movies I watch, and people I encounter as a mesh of ideas, concepts, and feelings until a string of words like the name of a friend will generate good feelings and memories. The minor details don’t matter. The bad feelings and memories are toss out, perhaps they corrupt the true idea of the object or person.

While this gets into my personal belief system, dealing with the issue of whether or not people are inherently good or evil, I know that my default wish is that they were inherently good.

So, I perceive events, my interests, and people by what I wish was their true nature.

Is that still idealism?

Maybe a mixed up, psycho-analyzed version of it.

So what do I do with this?

We know that INFPs associate feelings with everything. Does this just show perhaps that idealism is just a form of INFPs associating feelings and abstract meanings to everyone and everything around them? Is this just a meshing of “Fi” and “Ne”?

We care about the big picture of things. Do we just replace the bad memories, details, and feelings with good ones, knowing that those bad details don’t accurately represent the world, our favorite movies, and our friends and family?

I wonder if that is the case. Is it naivety to the younger, innocent INFP but unconditional love to the older, mature INFP?

Of course, complete obsessiveness with people and media is not healthy. Things like that aren’t that perfect.

But, I’m curious to hear your guys thoughts on this issue with idealism and why it is often the most present in the INFP.

Maybe this is a revelation of the nature of the INFP’s idealism.

Maybe this is just an interesting perspective on it.

Or maybe it’s just a weird train of thought I had one late Friday night.

So yeah, I’d like to hear your guys thoughts on this whether or not you agree and if there’s some edits needed to be made.

And if this was all very confusing, I can just edit it or forget it.

 

 

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5 Comments Add yours

  1. MBTI MANIA says:

    That’s beautiful. Especially what you said about loyalty, something I’m really trying to acquire.
    I think it is a very good thing to look on the bright side of the world, even if it means ignoring the obviously flawed aspects of it. This week was pretty hectic for me, and a lot of times I found it best just to laugh at what was going on. Just trying to find the humor in my situation. Or else I would find time to go outside (even in 102 SoCal weather), lay on my back and then look into the blue, cloud- specked sky and think about how beautiful the world really is.
    But perhaps it is an integral part of man to try and perfect his surroundings. Perhaps he knows that he is really destined for better things; that life could be much better if the necessary things were done to make it so. Perhaps a whisper from the divinity within his spirit recalls the glorious possibilities that he is capable of when he obeys his Creator. These possibilities are better because they are perfect. Man must learn to be perfect to attain them.
    So, I guess until man can learn to be perfect (with the help of Jesus Christ’s Atonement of course) he will dream about a perfect world and a perfect life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly, I love the way you put that.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. xarolehta says:

    For me it’s more like being a garden behind a wall; i keep my idealism contained because i don’t want it corrupted. all the bad in the world stays outside the wall and everything good goes in. no one but my closest friends are aware of (some of) the magic going on in my head: colors, melodies, creative ideas, impossibilities & abstract concepts like yours. but at the same time that i try to preserve this garden and maintain its purity, it feels like i’ve got clawmarks on my bones from how badly all my thoughts want to be out in the open
    ..
    on a lighter note : have you watched spiderman homecoming / are you going to write about it ?? i thought it was great !!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Again, exactly, I feel that way about it too. There’s a beauty and innocence we struggle so very hard to protect, even though we realize how corrupted the other side of the wall is.

      Have not seen it yet but I am incredibly excited to see it, and yes, I will probably write about it.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. infpinsights says:

    This is beautifully written and very relatable! I too feel like I live in two worlds, which contributes to a lot of inner conflict and dissonance. While I can be practical and realistic (or at least appear that way on the outside) but I often retreat to my imagination to escape feelings of boredom/dissatisfaction associated with mundane everyday life. Lately I’ve been trying to find more of a balance, with things such as creative expression so that I don’t just bottle everything up in my own head. I think part of the INFP’s idealism may come from never feeling like we’ve reached our potential, and placing high expectations on ourselves and/or others.

    Thank you for sharing this!

    – Sarah

    Liked by 2 people

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